I Chose Not To React


"I hate you I hate everything about you." She would then call me some four-letter words. This is how I was greeted each time I entered the room of a patient I was caring for, as a nurse. Guests that came to see her told horror stories about how difficult she was as a boss at the modeling agency, which she ran for years. It was getting to the point that no one wanted to nurse this person. However, the facility chose to keep her and we had to continue to nurse her.

One day, as I was about to give her some nursing care, she went into her usual tirade. When I started to do her care, my hands began to shake, and I was having difficulty doing her care. I was getting very angry and upset with her. I was reacting to what she was telling me. I knew I could not continue with her care until I gain my composure.

I began to think about some of the ideas I had been learning from my constant study of Science and Health. One idea was that I was responsible for my thinking. Science and Health states, "Dear reader, which mind-picture or externalized thought shall be real to you, the material or the spiritual? Both you cannot have"(360:13-16) I realized that I could continue look to the material evidence of an angry upset person and stay upset; or I could look to the spiritual and see the child of God.

I was taught to pray ever since I was a child, when I found myself in a difficult situation and this certainly was one. I knew I had one choice to accept as real and that was the spiritual one.

I began to pray this way. God is all- powerful and ever present good. He is with me always guiding and guarding my ever action. I am here to glorify Him. I am about his business. God created this patient therefore she is His child. God never made an angry person. God's child can only love. I can only love. If I do not love her I cannot love God who created her.

What am I reacting too? Did these words come from God? Did they start with "Thus saith the Lord"? He would never say anything except how much He loved me. God voices only blessings to man and not cursing. These words coming out of her mouth are lies. I am certainly not the person she is telling me I am. I am God's child and only things that describe God can describe me. I therefore cannot react to a lie. A lie has no validity and no power unless I give it power. It can only destroy itself. Its source never came from her mouth. She is God's child and can only mouth kindness and love to others.

God loves impartially. He does not make conditions for His love. I therefore as His child cannot make conditions on how I can love others. I must love her unconditionally. As my thinking began to change from seeing her as an angry individual, to the perfect idea of God I stopped reacting to what she said. I began to realize that all that was going on in that room was God and His love. I really began to feel this love. I was at peace. My hands stopped shaking and I was able to finish her care.

Over the next few weeks every time she said I hate you, I would say I love you and I met it. I could not help loving her because God made her. Every time I told her I loved her she would begin to quiet down during the nursing care.

Within a few weeks, her attitude towards me began to change. She would tell me she loved me. She expressed only kindness towards me when I cared for her. I too saw that I was becoming more loving and tolerable of the other nurses that I worked with. I realized that I could choose how I thought about everyone I came into contact with on the nursing floor. As I chose to be more loving towards them they in turn became more loving towards me.

I learned a valuable lesson that day on the nursing floor. I learned that no matter how tough the situation we find ourselves in we can choose how we react to it. I chose that day not to continue to react but instead to respond with love. The result brought harmony into my work life.