As you can probably guess, I had many short-lived relationships. I looked and looked for my special someone and continued to come up empty.

I thought I had found the right person in my first marriage. Instead, it ended in divorce in less than three years. Then for years after I kept on searching, getting into new relationships, and then feeling more and more unhappy after each one ended.

I was raised on the idea that prayer gives the best answer to any problem. And I learned more about prayer by in-depth study of the Bible, with the help of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. One Bible verse really hit home with me at that time: "Give, and it shall be given unto you." This helped me see that I needed to give more in my relationships instead of trying only to get.

My study also brought me to these convictions: God really is Love�as the Bible says. And God loves me right this very moment. He also loves my neighbor. Equally. Since I am His child, I am capable of loving also. And God just loves. He does not make conditions for that love. If He does not make conditions for His love, then I cannot make conditions on others for their love.

I began to try to be more giving and less selfish in my relations with others. I knew I had to love my neighbor unselfishly, and this included my relationships with women. Soon I had an opportunity to put this into practice.

I had a girlfriend who was hard to get along with. At times, she was unkind to me and to others. I knew this relationship was leading nowhere. She told me in no uncertain terms that she had no interest in marriage.

However, I valued our friendship and did not want to lose it. We enjoyed many of the same things, such as hiking, movies, and snowshoeing. I admired her independent spirit and her deep devotion to God. If I couldn't keep a friendship with her, then how could I make a marriage work?

If I wanted to be a good friend to this woman, I had to stop reacting to her faults. I had to think of her the way God made her�lovable. God doesn't mean for any of His children to be moody or irritable. God's child is always loving and kind. I remembered reading that Jesus once told his disciple Peter to forgive seventy times seven. I asked myself, how many times could I forgive my friend?

The result was that I kept this relationship going for five years. I was much more patient with her and reacted less. I learned to be more tolerant towards others and became a better friend all around. We stopped seeing so much of each other when I moved to another state.

Over the next few years, whenever I met a woman I made sure I was there to give to the friendship and not to get. When I first met Susanne, the woman who later became my wife, I made it a point to be the best friend I could be to her. My change to a more unselfish approach to dating attracted her to me, and has contributed to our 12-year strong marriage and friendship.

Susanne puts it this way: "The night we first met at the home of a mutual friend, David was friendly and funny. What amazed me about him, though, was the way he really tried to listen to me. When he asked me what my goals were, and then listened expectantly for my answer, I suspected this one was a keeper."

I found my special someone, Susanne, when I was willing to outgrow my self-centered thinking and learn to think instead about others first. Today, I am still striving to be a better giver, but the more I give to her, the more I receive from her�more than I could have ever dreamed.